Friday Blogger

There are days, that make you FLY; There are days you wanna CRY...Though, TODAY has it's own pride..but in the end, it's the thought of TOMORROW..which gives you the stride....LIFE GOES ON and ON..and ON :-((-:

Ink On.....

Sometimes the closest dreams make you travel the longest paths, at times it appears as a never ending excavation; and we get into a feeling that perhaps the way life is turning or shaping up is going to lead us nowhere, we feel helpless, dubious, drained and the life which appeared to be a tune full of harmony suddenly starts emitting a cacophonous sound.That sense of dilemma and ambiguity in itself is enough to put a pause to the pace we were travelling with and we end up questioning ourselves; the power which we believe in and most importantly we see our selves standing on the ground zero again.

But even after all this, THE LIFE GOES ON..It takes it's turns, It follows it's PACE and the JOURNEY TO THE UNKNOWN continues and if we put it this way..Life is all about searching the light, which may or may not be at the end of the tunnel, but somewhere, someone inside us knows that it exists..it actually does, all we have to do is to keep going, search for the anonymous should not be put to a halt...as the sole objective of our existence is to "Decrypt the Encrypted (solve the questions/situations/maladies life throws on us)" and  to "Encrypt the Decrypted (to make ourselves secure by the best we can do with our lives) " ...Isn't it?

This "FRIDAY" was in no mood to deviate from showing its basic traits and everything was usual, elated faces, festive atmosphere, evening plans and best out of them was the fact that "Friday was the SALARY DAY"..Yes! generally we all who have message alerts activated from Banks, desperately wait for a text from BANK which say "XXXXX amount has been credited to your Bank Account". It was 10 AM in the morning (no need to state that I was late for the office) when I too checked my inbox as a first chore to see if my Bank Account has got reasons to smile (I was supposed to make an urgent payment before 1 PM, failing which would have resulted in serious consequences on my part, so I was desperately in the need of funds, and with every passing second, I was getting worried and anxious on 'what will happen if salary didn't credit on time'?). But there was no message from the bank and it was the first disappointment for the day, I rubbed my eyes and was about to get out of the bed when my cell phone vibrated twice, I grabbed it in the anticipation that perhaps one of the two vibrations is from the Bank, but again that was not the case and the message said "Good Morning" with a Smiley..now, that was something which actually vanished my disappointment and left me with a smile not so big, but it certainly was long lasting, as it's after affects followed me up to the washroom and I found myself standing, dancing and smiling in front of the mirror, that too just because of one message. I realized, when we are in love, we actually act insane.That message was from "Aakriti"..the same girl to whom I proposed last week. Now, that sudden liking has transformed into a great relationship, though she has not said a "Yes" or a "NO" but what has developed between us is something above and beyond all the stereotype relationships. I don't know what we can actually call it, Love, Infatuation or something else but all what I know is that "we are connected".We chat for hours, we share our deepest secrets and weaknesses, an Ouch, Alas or Hurray! are something which can't wait to be shared.A humble and sweetened relationship is blooming full on :)) <3 <3  

While, I ignored the second message and got busy in getting ready for office I realized that there is something which I am missing, perhaps there was something else associated with this Friday and with that thought, I marched ahead towards my car (for a change, I gave a break to my metro ride :p). While I was about to reach the parking area, I heard someone shouting my name, I stopped, looked back and found, that was "Akash" a neighbour who is a class 12th student and lives alone in our society. He was in a rush, I asked "Hey, what happened?". He replied "Bhaiya, I have my first board exam today and I have got late, if you could drop me at Tilak Nagar, I assume you are going in the same direction". I smiled and nodded my head in affirmation, after a while we were on the ring road, I saw that he was all in sweat and was invariably flipping pages from his NCERT book. I asked "Are you alright, why you are so nervous?", he said "I am not prepared for the exam and have not even completed the whole course", I said "That's bad, but why are you not prepared" and then what he explained was something which dragged me to the memories of my board exams' days, when I actually risked two papers in a row and appeared without any preparations and the reason was something which no one can understand and no one will actually buy that story, but well it happened.I ended up screwing my marks and chances of getting into some good college. Perhaps that is what was destined to be, that was my fate and perhaps life took it's own turn, it shaped on it's own and If I see, today I am in a much better position than many of those who scored well.I  don't say that it was right but that wasn't wrong either. 

He said " I studied the whole year, but in last days, I got into a relationship and we broke off and now I am so much into it, I can't concentrate on the essentials, I am scared and am not sure what to do, my parents have expectations from me and I think I will end up scoring only "60-70 % marks, they will be shattered." While he narrated the reason behind his not being well prepared, I was able to correlate with his condition. 

Well to quote, that guy was fairly intelligent and as far as I know him, he was a 85 'virgin' (he always scored more than 85% marks and never touched 85) and 90 were his 'keeps' (he always scored more than 90% ) :), but today, he was talking about 60-70 % marks (such shameful figures).

I asked him to calm down, give his best and not to worry, as this exam is just an exam and is not an end to other opportunities life is going to throw upon him and with that, I dropped him at his examination center.

While I was driving and thinking about the increasing pressure on students to score well at any cost just to match standards with other horses in the race , I checked my cellphone to see if I have not missed any calls. Though there were no missed calls, but 2 unread messages. It was 11:45 AM and I opened one of those messages , Aaaah..to my relief..that was from the Bank and I was happy to see, that finally I am out of the mess and will be able to clear my liabilities and with that elation I opened the second message, that was something which put my elation to a halt and resulted in a sudden break to my car.

It said "Sorry :(..this time also you have not cleared, shortfall of 4 marks ", the message was from a friend to whom I entrusted with the responsibility to check my result of a professional course I am enrolled in and consecutively after few attempts, this time also, I was unable to score the bare minimum, which would have gifted me with a PASS certificate. I was actually disappointed, I parked the car aside, and controlled my emotions, I felt like crying and after a while I wept hard as, I realized that it's really not going to end.All plans and all dreams have met a speed breaker, I will have to start from scratch. I was in the sheer disappointment and that time I lost faith in myself and the supreme power as well.

I thought, that few minutes back, I was consoling that boy  with my suggestions to be positive, but now I was surrounded with all the negative thoughts. It's just 4 marks, which have made me suspicious about my dreams, though I am doing well with my life and in a position far from the reach of many, but still I was depressed.I questioned, "what is the difference between the one who managed to score those 4 marks and myself who didn't, am I less capable or competent,?". "Al Pacino" once said " Life is a game of inches," but at that time I realized, "Life is a game of numbers, a half less or half more and you don't quite make it".In school we run for securing high percentages, after school we run for cut off's and once we are in jobs they are the Zeroes in our salaries which keep us deprived of being the true us. 

While, I was catering to those thoughts, one of my friends gave me a call, and shared his positive result and at the same time he asked for some financial assistance, I realized that, for some, he is in a better position (having a PASS certificate) but still, on some grounds "I am". 

I wiped my tears, and mumbled "I AM DOWN but NOT DEAD...I am heading for a tomorrow for the better days in life...but I can only make it,  If I stand the  test of time "   

With that thought, I get in the driver's seat and put the car stereo on to play a song which motivated me to a great extent :

They're moments in the dark, when pain just floods your heart..

And you surrender one more time,

They're days, you are naturally high, they're days you wanna die

Sometimes your world goes down in flames..

Take a walk out in the rain, With every drop that falls,

You know the sun will shine again...

Tomorrow's all that counts, As life goes round and round

and if you keep the faith again, the time will call your name..

The time will call your name...!!!!

So I witnessed two side of a FRIDAY, one which gave me a relief and  the other which shattered me to increase my belief .

A Friday with a learning "We are facing every storm that's blowing right into our face..we just have to keep going..when life is following it's own pace....

Ink OFF..till I get here again..on a new Friday...."Friday Blogger"

© 2013 Prashant Srivastav