Friday Blogger

You don't need a ground..you don't need a premise...It is someone else's game..It is someone else's choice...Be ready to feel it, be ready to witness again...If it has happened once..It can happen twice...'Yes; It can happen twice!!'

"They say if it's not forever it's not love.If it goes and doesn't come back..It's not love.They believe it to be true only if it reaches to a close or conclusion.So that means, as per our theories and social norms, a love relationship needs a tag of "Happily Married" to conclude it or else if that doesn't happen, the Love will not be considered as true. They will name it, infatuation, attraction, obsession or you can get 'n' number of  other similar tags.

Sometimes this theory appears to me, as if we plan love and as a plan it should happen as per some pre defined steps, so basically they want to say that love as per the guidelines : First Step- Identify your mate, Second Step-Fall in Love, Third Step- Talk to your parents about your Beau or Bailey and Last but the most important Step- Get Married....

This guideline comes with a warning and as per the same, you can skip other steps, but if you skipped the Last Step..be ready to carry an " I had an Unsuccessful Love Relation" tag for a life time. And it doesn't end here , the above guidelines have some fallback positions (alternatives) also, If you missed any of the steps, bury yourself in the clouds of depression or you can try making your  life hell by crying  away the remaining nights of  your share, be a selfish being, annoy every one around, take pledge not to fall in love again, take an oath to disturb your mate's sleep just because you are having sleepless nights and in the end try to do everything (such as sending melodramatic texts to the opposite sex involved in that crime of skipping the last step, update your Facebook status with some sad love quotes or place a fake smile on your face for your parents, as if they are fools and they can't sense what is missing on their son's /daughter's face, or finally cover yourself with a blanket of selfishness and name it as "My Love was true, It can't get through...so I am living a loner's life..I will give you a fake smile and try to be happy in front of others, but when I am alone, I will act like a Zombie") which can make the life of your mate, your loved ones and of course your's worse than miserable."

Well, I personally do not have any belief in the above guidelines,  why can't a relationship be cherished as a lifetime memory just based on the moments shared , why can't we consider ourselves blessed that at some point of time a person admired us.There was something special in us that he/she looked at us in the whole world, isn't this feeling in itself rewarding. Every time you fall in love with some one, you become a better, mature and seasoned being.It's the touch of love, that changes a cynic into a believer, so why to question the feeling and why to relate it with the distance it travelled.....

So what.....

With that last incomplete text, I closed my diary which I was accompanying during my metro ride to Gurgaon. So, after spending three bad "Allergic-infectious" days (Tuesday to Thursday)  in bed (of course alone-as no girl would take a chance to sleep with a guy captivated with bronchial infections, even if she loves you !), finally I was enjoying the metro ride again. Though, this time the route was different, but following the custom, I made my self comfortable by placing my not so fluffy  "Gluteus Maximus (BUTT)" on a seat in a coach next to Girls Coach.But yes, it actually doesn't matters what route you take, that special coach is always full of vibrancy.Comforting faces, differently tied locks, designer cloths and cocktail of numerous fragrances lead you to a different world.  

So on a perfect "Friday",  I was all set for 2 important meetings of my life (one was important for me and the other one was important for me as well as for a being similar to me") and  for a change the meetings were not official J(luckily, due to my bad health, I was allowed to have an additional day off in addition to what I applied for-PS: I Love my demigod [manager]).

That incomplete note, which I was reading during the metro ride, was an excerpt from my diary (I wish to convert it in a book someday), which I was carrying to show some one. I wrote the above article a year back, when I was in a relationship and that was for the first time I witnessed the serene feeling of love and then the days passed, life took it's own turn, things went wrong and the feeling struck to a speed breaker which resulted in a half baked love story.At that time, I was not sure that what I have scribbled, made any sense and I had never thought that I would be reading this again, just to reinstate the fact that it can actually turn up and knock on my door.

While I was thinking about that incomplete article and realizing what else can be added to make it more relevant , I heard the announcement about the metro station on which I was supposed to meet a Girl.I de-boarded the metro and took the lift to reach Gate Number 1. I was directed to wait at Barista adjacent to the referenced gate. The first meeting was supposed to be at 11 AM, I managed to reach there on time and occupied the corner seat which was actually sort of aloof from the main sitting area.After waiting for 15 minutes, I saw someone approaching to me and I made no mistake in recognizing her (as have seen and liked almost all the pictures on her FB account).She waved and said, "Hi Nishant" and I was all flabbergasted to see her face, she looked more striking than she looked in the pictures. For few seconds, I didn't utter a single word and acted like a robot missing expressions.She again said  "Helooooo"...and the last syllable had some effect on me and I came out of my sudden sleep to say "Hi..finally, you are out of my earphones and now I can actually see a full body talking to me"..she winked and said "Yes..a long wait, but glad to meet you in person".

By that time, I was unable to digest that I was actually sitting in front of the girl, whom I proposed over the phone, without knowing much about her.Though, she took it in a positive manner and said that I need some time and then we became friends and life moved on. We both feared meeting each other before agreeing for this meeting.

So, this meeting was with Aakriti (the Girl I referred in my last 2 blogs) and today she was supposed to disclose her verdict about my self proclaimed "second true love at first sight over face book". By that time, I was not sure about how long the meeting is gonna stretch and thus, I scheduled my second meeting for 12: 30.

It was 11:30 AM and till that time, we simply exchanged customary Hi's and Hello's and the rest was a complete silence. I found myself blank at that juncture and realized that suddenly my thought process had declared a strike and before I would have managed to utter something, she went ahead and said "It's not possible, I mean..it can't actually happen. I do like you but I still miss my boyfriend. I got confused, I developed a liking towards you but I am not out of my old relationship till now and yesterday only, my boyfriend called me and said that he still loves me and wants me back in his life, and it seems that things will again be fine between us...I am sorry, I hope you will understand and will take this with a positive frame of mind"

After listening all that, my silence reached to a higher degree and I realized that the strike had been converted into a permanent lock-out as far as my thought process was concerned.I counted the hours I spent over phone calls with her and then the next calculation about the cost incurred during the demonstration of  my love made me feel sick again.For few seconds, I realized, that this time this short lived love has hit hard and it will be difficult to heal these wounds.  

I regained my senses and said  "Hey, no problem, actually I was also confused and in that confusion, I went ahead and gargled everything and then no straight answer from your side, raised my confidence and hope and I ended up perceiving your dilemma as your consent.Thanks for coming by the way."

She said "You are a great human being Nishant, I would love to love  you but destiny has something else in store for me.All the best for your life!!.." and with those words she left the seat vacant, the coffee partially sipped,  bill unpaid and of course my brain dysfunctional.I felt bad and realized a story concluded with a sad note, it would have landed to a happy ending, but that so called phone call from her boyfriend changed the whole game.I decided not to blame her or her boyfriend either and tried holding the fortress to keep my self calm and composed.

I was not in a mood to go ahead with the second meeting but considering the fact that the girl followed me and my blog very religiously, I decided to stick to the plan. Yes, the next meeting was with a girl. who closely followed my blog, the way she perceived it was something very different from others.

Even her visit to my blog was very coincidental and resulted through an authors website, which we both followed. Once, I randomly posted my blog link on that author's webpage, she accessed it from there and that random post of mine became the reason for this meeting.

Few days back she messaged me, that she too has a blog and shared her blog link. She said,  that she liked my blogs and wanted to get in touch with me to share some of her writing plans. She also informed, that she has been working on a love story and wants to see herself getting published.

I found her aspirations quite similar to mine and after visiting her blog page, I really wanted to meet her.Her style of writing had a flair which was somewhere missing in mine.I realized, I can learn a lot from her and perhaps over a cup of coffee we might end up becoming co-authors for a 'Best Seller'.

So considering the short gaps between the two meetings, I asked her to meet me at Barista. The clock at the cafe showed the time as 12:00 PM, and I still had 30 mins left with me.I ordered another cup of coffee, the waiter there was smiling at me, perhaps for all the bad reasons. I ignored him and opened my diary again to read the article, which endorsed that love can happen twice. I counted, and then realized that it had indeed happened twice, but again, short lived and without a conclusion.I smiled and decided to use those 30 mins to the fullest by completing that incomplete article (they say, a writer is at his best when he is disturbed, poke him and it will turn into a status update....) and I wrote something like this:

So what, your love didn't reach to a closure, so what the path was half travelled, it doesn't mean you can't travel it again. Remember it as a fairy tale, nurse the feeling of being admired, thank god for choosing you to witness the bliss of this enchanting feeling.Open your arm and feel the air, allow it to sink in and you never know, when can you get the chance to fall in love again.

The Love is always new.Regardless of whether we love once, twice, or a dozen times in our life.We always face a brand new situation.It can lead us to hell or paradise,but it always takes us somewhere.We have to accept love, no matter where it comes from, even if  it lasts for hours, days, weeks or years...even if it lasts for hours, days, weeks or years.....". 

After ending the article, I checked my wristwatch, it was showing the time as 12:25 PM. By that time, the cafe was all crowded and I looked at every female face thinking of that girl.I wondered, how would I be able to recognize her, when I haven't seen her before and even her Facebook profile had a picture of some Bollywood actress as her display pic [ Why the hell can't people use their own photos, when they have all the privacy settings available].The only thing which would have helped me was her cell number. So after waiting for 5 mins, I decided to call her, but that was not of any relief,as her phone was not reachable.

It was 12:45 PM and every passing second augmented my frustration.After listening a straight away 'NO' from the girl you were in love with for months, no sane being would act gentle.I decided to drop a message on her cell and leave. I was about to touch the "CREATE MESSAGE" tab, when my cell phone displayed a call from an unknown number, I picked up and said  "Hello" and from the other side, it was nothing usual, I heard a firm female voice, she was sounding more like a HR Consultant and she said "So Sorry Sir", I got perplexed and said "what...who's dis?". The girl responded, "Hi, Samvartika this side, I was supposed to meet you today". I asked,  "Who Samvartika?, my meeting was with Aditi" and to that she replied "I will explain it, let me reach there first" and she hung up.

I got confused and questioned myself, her pic on Facebook is not real, and now her name is also fake, hope I have not made any mistake by saying yes for this meeting.While I was in my thoughts, I saw a tall girl approaching me, she was sporting a red top and black trouser, which was complimenting her fair complexion. She appeared to me in her early 20's, her shoulder-length hair were untied and one of the locks had a permanent stay on her face. She had looks, which were far beyond from what I expected.She had a beauty which was striking and full of grace. While my brain was about to complete it's scanning, she came closer and said, "Hi Nishant..I am Samvartika" and  before I would have responded to that, she said "My FB account in the name of Aditi is fake, I have created it for promoting some of my "Digital Marketing stuffs, I am really sorry for not disclosing the same and at the same time I am sorry for being late, the number which I shared with you is not working and I forgot to share my other number".

I said "Not a problem..please sit". It was actually awkward to start a conversation and for a while, I was only staring at her, the best thing about her was a permanent smile on her face which helped me in overlooking the tragedy I went through few hours back.

I decided to get rid of the silence and asked her about her writings and she started narrating the concept, every word she uttered created an impact on me, it was not only her looks which were endorsing but whatever she said was very substantial. Coincidentally, the concept of her book was very close to mine.She read my diary and started with the recently completed article, she liked it and said, " I too believe, that it can happen again and again, until you get the one who completes you.

During that hour's conversation, we discussed writing, passions, perspectives, life, family and last but not the least our broken relationships.A being so similar to me, in every aspect. That hour's time established a connection so strong, that I wanted that meeting to proceed further.We ended up agreeing for a joint book, where she will be my co-author and promised to meet every weekend.

With that commitment, she stood up and said, " One thing, I have not told you, I am following you for past 3 months and over the period of time have developed a sense of liking, I Can sense it getting transformed into love for you Nishant .Destiny has something in store for us...It has came for a reason, I want it to rejoice...the feeling is very phenomenal, no matter it happens once or twice...I don't need an answer, this is what I feel for you and it's not conditional.At the end of the day, what matters to me is your presence in any form " and with that she left the Seat full vacant, Coffee Mug half filled, and my brain Mis-Functional. 

I found the words similar to what I used during my confession towards Aakriti. Samvartika's last words, were still on my mind.She was perfect in all aspects, I missed her presence, her face was all around me. I was dubious and not sure about the next course.The God is really strange, it happened twice and then I was shattered.It's happening again, not sure for a life time or for a while, for a Kilometer or for many Miles....all she left me with, was an ear to ear smile..... 

I opened my diary and started to write something on a new page and it said :

I may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before and she may love someone again. But if she loves me now, what else matters?  She is perhaps not perfect, I am not either..two of us may not be perfect together, but if she can make me laugh, make me think twice and make me realize that how special I am, what else I need.If she left me with a smile, she left me thinking, she gave me a reason to write.Why can't I call it love, does it require a definition..For me it's a feeling inexplicable...a spark is enough to ignite it..and I think it has been ignited again...Isn't this love?...

Well, I find it true:

"You don't need a ground...you don't need a premise, It might reach without a knock..it may come with a shock..It has visited before..It can visit again...It's not about the number..It's not about false or true..All you get every time..a feeling completely insane..a feeling completely new. It's some one else's game..it's some else's choice..If it has happened once..it can happen twice..If it has happened twice..It can happen thrice...until you get across the final demise...Yes..It can happen twice"

So the Friday...which I can name as 'Lost and Found'...I lost the love and found it again...let me live it..let me feel it...Let me go to HEAVEN..I am just out of HELL.... 

Ink OFF..till I get here again..on a new Friday...."Friday Blogger"

© 2013 Prashant Srivastav