Few Grams of Happiness-"Confession of a MBA aspirant"

Life is a path of twist and turns..at times they are thorns sometimes they are ferns..all we need in that moment..is to remain alive, in the toughest of time..we should survive, as once it's over and we are through, what we see is a feeling completely divine..what we perceive is a sentiment entirely new - 'FEW GRAMS OF HAPPINESS'.

I am still not sure, what is it , where is it, is it something that we strive for or something which can never be strived. Chris Gardener in his book “Pursuit of Happyness” quoted that "Happiness is something that we can only pursue and may be we can actually never have it".Is that true..? 

Most of us will see it as something which is difficult to define; no matter how hard you try, it is an inexplicable feeling which is not often witnessed. Sometimes a sudden shift in fate results in giving you a feeling which is somewhere close to what you call happiness, or at times you feel elated just because you know that someone else is happy. For some, conclusion of a journey is happiness and for few a journey in itself is happiness. At times few droplets of rain on a leaf soothes your soul or at times an innocent smiling face can give you a reason to smile, it can come from anywhere or from everywhere, a promotion in job can be a source, few words of appreciation can be happiness, feeling of being a reason for someone else’s smile can  be a source or a smooth day at work can lead to happiness. 

All of us have something different to add as far as happiness is concerned, but personally, I have seen it when I was least expecting it or it was something  which was in the queue for long, it came for a while, it was short lived, miniscule yet substantial, that moment when I actually felt happiness, when I saw it in it’s true shape, when I felt like shouting and crying hard, that moment when I felt like giving a tight hug to someone who was worth sharing that feeling. Still I can’t define or explain it, the only thing I realized is that they came in Grams but their impact were in Kilograms…

Here I am getting started in a quest to define and witness happiness in it's true senses with my new series of blogs, based on some true incidents or experiences of creatures similar to us. Every week we will take a journey towards an incident of someone’s life to which they cherish as a part where it came and touched them, where they realized that they actually witnessed HAPPINESS..perhaps not in tonnes, perhaps not in Kilograms but something more than an ounce, something closer to few grams....

Ink ON.

This time the narrator of a story is a lad with an average intelligence, who tried his luck in a professional course having several levels of exams, he succeeded in it's initial levels, but after a while he succumbed to it's complex passing criteria after wasting 3 precious years of his youth and a good proportion of his father's savings, leading him to a phase of diffidence and depression, after resigning to that course he later decided to pursue MBA and further, after passing 1 more year at home and spending considerable proportion of time at one of the MBA coaching classes of his locality for his MBA aspirations , he decided to appear in CAT/MAT entrance, he cracked it with percentile which was enough to get him into an average college and after years of depression and sadness he was feeling elated and the day came, when he was almost there in the queue for submitting a draft for the admission at the admission counter in one of the colleges in Delhi, but there came a sudden shift in fate which dragged him to the ground zero again... he couldn't mange to get the admissions, all shattered and helpless there was a time when he was left with a 50 % marks graduate degree, an year old CAT score, news of his few friends joining big MNC's, illness of his father, a mother who was a sole bread winner and an almost empty bank account,with all this in plate he decided to quit and forego his MBA aspirations and for supporting his family he started teaching at a nearby school and then after an year their came a day, when he actually weighed those few grams of  happiness...So come.. let's meet Purav Sharma....:)

"It was a typical Monday morning and my watch showed the time as 10 AM , the roads of Bangalore city was all crowded, unorganized traffic, motorist driving like maniacs, people trying to switch lanes like anything, vehicles making their ways from every possible nook and corner,unnecessary noise of horns, all haphazard and chaotic, grimed faces reinstating their dislikes towards this first day of the week. 

Amidst all this I was standing near the Majestic bus station with my friend Ravi who is a CA and knowing the fact that I am  new to this city, he graciously offered to accompany me during my stay. Ravi was the only guy with whom I was in minimal contact over social networking sites despite of all the adversities I faced but he was not aware of the things I went through before reaching to this stage of my life and even today he was unknown to the actual reason for my visit to Bangalore, after waiting for a while we hired an auto for Bilekhalli, Bannerghatta Road which was around 20 Km from there. While we were settling in the auto, I cautiously put a brown envelope in my bag, Ravi noticed that and asked " What's that?" I ignored and said "nothing just an envelope". He further inquired " So why you left CA and then I heard that, you were preparing for MBA, and that too almost 2 years back, it's done or still on?

I replied "I couldn't manage to do both", he asked "What? then?". I smiled and said "Long story". He replied "It will take an hour to reach your destination, so we have ample time, please cut the shit and go ahead".As he insisted, I started with the day when I was awaiting the results of my CA final exams...

It was 1 PM in the morning when after lunch every one in the family went to sleep but I was constantly looking at the watch, as today at 2:00 PM the ICAI was to declare the results of the CA final exams, I was stuck in 2 groups for past 5 attempts and this was the 6th attempt and perhaps the last as I was not ready to bear the humiliation again, with every passing second my heart was beating faster than normal, I entered my roll number and clicked on the submit button in the browser, the time it was fully loaded, there was nothing different and again the word I hated most was there on the screen "FAIL".I covered my face and felt like killing myself.That time I found embracing death as easier than the disclosure of my result to my ailing father, who recently survived a heart stroke. I somehow managed to gather the courage and blasted the news. I decided that, I will quit CA and asked for permission to pursue MBA.I left everything, I confined myself only to the classes and my room and prepared for almost an year to crack the CAT exams, on the result day though I was content that I managed to get a good percentile but then there was a fear regarding the funding of the education, as my father was no more in the job and the only earning member was my mother. But somehow my parents agreed to fund that based on their savings

On the last day of the fees submission, while I was waiting in the queue for my turn, I realized perhaps now I will be able to recoup what I lost during my quest to become a CA. In the next 5-6 minutes I would have become the part of that college but suddenly my cell phone vibrated, there was still a guy in the queue before me on the counter, I checked my cell and the call was from my mother's number, I picked up and said "Hello" and in return what I heard made me rush towards the exit gate, I came to know that my father suffered a second stroke and he was being admitted to Escorts.After further examination, the Doctors suggested a by pass surgery and all the savings were appropriated towards that cause, that day I realized "there is many a slip between the cup and lip" and with my father being bed ridden, I decided that it's high time to leave all this and contribute towards the earning of my family and considering that I joined one school and simultaneously I started giving coaching for CAT/MAT entrance to few of the MBA aspirants.

While I was about to go ahead with the further story, I found Ravi all perplexed and stunned, he didn't utter a single word during the entire journey and in no time our auto was heading towards the Bannerghatta Road and after we travelled half a kilometer I asked the driver to stop in front of a gate, we stepped out and the grey wall in front of us has few letters engraved on it and they were "IIM B".

Ravi all amazed exclaimed "What the hell we are doing here", I winked and extracted the envelope out of my bag and said "That's a demand draft, I am getting admitted here for a PGDM course"

With a smile, I entered the IIM Bangalore campus, I reached the admission section, while I was there on the fee submission counter, I recalled the memory of that day when I was almost in for a MBA program in Delhi and then a sudden shift of fate changed everything.

With those thoughts, I reached the counter, submitted the draft and collected the acknowledgment receipt, my eyes were all moist, tears were ready to barge the eyelids and turn into a flood, I tried stopping them, I came out of the lobby and reached to an open area, I felt like crying hard, I felt like shouting hard, I felt like telling everyone "see it has changed, I did it, he did it", for the first time I witnessed that strange feeling, I was happy, I was smiling but at the same time, tears were not ready to restrain their flow.I was constantly staring at the acknowledgment receipt like an insane, as if it was a license towards a success journey.I even didn't feel anything like this when I saw the qualifying results because of which I was here . The feeling was unseen and alien.

At that moment, I wanted to hug someone close to me, I gave a tight hug to Ravi, he too had a moist eyes, though for him it must have been difficult to understand what all I was going through at that juncture, but all what I realized that, "When we recall the past, we usually find that they are the simplest things, not the great occasions , that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness,  that was the moment in which, for the first time I touched "Few Grams of Happiness" and the impact of which was actually in Kilograms...."  with that feeling worth reminiscing life long, I came out of the campus, wiped my tears, looked around, smiled and armed myself for a new journey...

PS:  "While preparing some of the students for the entrance, Purav too appeared in the exams that too when a student purchased the form for him without letting him know.Well, thanks to her...she gave him those moments of happiness..."

And you never can tell how close you are-It may be near when it seems afar..So stick to the fight, when you're hardest hit..It's when things seem worst, that you must not quit....

So that was the story of Purav Sharma, who still cherish a part of his life where he actually encountered something which he can consider a synonym to true HAPPINESS.

Still, our quest is on to get the perfect definition to what we call as Happiness....Let's wait for a new story, a new experience, a new recipe which is not in Kilograms but something more than an Ounce, something closer to few Grams....

Ink Off..till I get here again..with Few Grams of Happiness.."FRIDAY BLOGGER"

© 2013 Prashant Srivastava