Friday Blogger

"I went ahead and stopped the flow..to follow a different route..I can see the noise passing by...but the clamor is on mute-Never Belittle Love"

Ink On.....

A conventional Friday morning was on its verge to begin and the day started with series of events all monotonous-Early morning conference calls, Warm "have a great weekend wishes", People trying hard to sound elated. I sensed that everything was taking it's predicted path and the only unusual thing in comparison to several other Friday's was my sudden plan of taking leave (backed by an unexpected, shocking and shattering call) for rest of the day (and my Friday maniac manager's contented accent to that, was something which was really unexpected )

Well, I thanked him and decided to capitalize on the opportunity and motivated my self to spend some time alone and especially after a hectic week at work and such a petrifying phone call, I really deserved that solace.So, after downsizing my to do list, I left home without any specific agenda in my mind.

After reaching metro station,without deviating from my usual behavior, I boarded the coach next to the one reserved for girls. Any one could have sensed the gaiety in the atmosphere, even the ugliest of the creatures (My Apologies ! If I am being racist) were having a sense of charm prevailing over their faces. I realized, why the hell Friday's are so special, It's just another member of the week family, but no,the pace with which we are imbibing the culture borrowed from west, Friday has evolved as a day which is no less than a festival and I can certainly say that it is not keeping good terms with other week days as I remember that during our childhood, Sunday's were used to be the greatest source of elation but with the passing time and we getting closer to culture which is alien, Sunday's have become a source of fear, restlessness and extreme depression. 

While my brain was catering to my thoughts, I decided not to dig further in the "Life of week days" and inserted my ear phone to listen a romantic number.A press of a button, and Richard Marx was all on with his beautiful song  "Right Here Waiting For You". By the time, the "phone call" was no where in my mind (rather I avoided to think about that) and every word of the song started sinking in slowly. The time I reached the lines which were something like this :

"I took for granted, all the time, That I thought would last somehow

 I hear the laughter, I taste the tears, But I can't get near you now

If I see you next to never, How can we say forever, wherever you go

Whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you"

After resisting for a while, I found that a drop of  tear managed to flow down from my eyes and that single droplet acted like a pied piper and within a fraction of seconds I was all in tears.Though it was not for the first time that I was listening to this song, but today it managed to trigger something which was there inside but was suppressed for quite a long time.It made me think about the phone call and forced me to revisit the incidence which was the reason behind such inexorable emotions :

"I still remember that day, when after completing my graduation and a year relationship with a girl who loved me more than anything else in her life, I decided to leave my hometown for a new beginning , while I was there on the station waiting for my train to Bangalore, I was all determined to leave everything behind and I realized that I really need "An end to begin". While the announcements were being made regarding the arrival and departure I saw a familiar face approaching to me, Yes ! that was her..she was there to bid me an adieu with an anticipation that I will meet her again but by that time she was not aware of the things which were going in my mind.She kissed on my forehead and handed over me a letter stating that, "open it once you are in train". After seeing her affection, I didn't manage to explain her the fact that I want to end a year long relationship and by the time I decided to tell her, she was out of the arena...I called her number and recited her the one sided verdict- I said "I don't know about future, I can't commit based on past..but in present..I want to put a full stop..an end to our relationship"..she didn't utter a single word and said..alright..."you take care"

I felt a sense of relief and realized that it was not that difficult as it appeared, I was inside the train now, and without delaying further I opened the pink colored letter (I am still unable to figure out the reason behind girls affinity with pink color, I tell you, give them a chance and they will paint the world pink ;)).There were some rhyming words written inside which said:

"I have dreams..and they are two...to achieve something and to marry you...

 I am sensing, a sense of fear...I saw you leaving..and you are not near..

 I feel I die..I feel I cry..but as you said..there is never a good bye..

 I will wait for you till the last day I live..If you managed to do..please forgive..

 I only know that you are mine...If you are okie, then I am fine..

All I need is u by my side..all I have is your love as a pride,

Don't let me down, please take me through, I can't explain.. how much I Luv U" 

At that juncture, the words in the letter were overshadowed by the dreams and I decided to put the letter inside and move on.That day for the last time, I heard her voice and then it disappeared in the noise of dreams and quest to achieve. 

PS: That phone call which moved me inside out on a Friday, was from one of my friends who shared something, which put an end to a long travelled statement but left me with the guilt and with a learning of a life time. He said "You didn't realize and you did what you thought, you said what you felt...and see she left without uttering  a single word...she has finally given you an end to begin...she is no more"

That news shocked me from inside, I felt the pain as if someone punched hard on my chest...and I realized that "The people that we leave behind in our journey of life...they never come back, it is of no use sending love notes to them..it is of no use calling their name..once they are gone..they are gone...SO NEVER BELITTLE LOVE..no matter where it come from.. because the sound of a true soul crying is one of the loneliest sound I have ever heard"

So, at the end of the day...it was a "Nostalgic Friday"..Always somewhere miss you where I have been...I will be back to love you again....

Ink OFF..till I get here again..on a new Friday...."Friday Blogger"

© 2013 Prashant Srivastav